It doesn’t matter if you are just out of the closet or have been around the dating scene for years, meeting new people is hard. In the gay community it seems that confidence is the most attractive feature you can have. Not everyone oozes confidence and has healthy self-esteem so that can make finding a date even harder. Don’t worry we are here to help. Here is some help to get you started dating in the gay community.
Fake it Until it is Real
We are talking about confidence here. Everybody is attracted to a confident man regardless of what they look like. The hard part is already done, you found the confidence to come out of the closet so make yourself believe that you can do anything. Walk into your date with your head held high and like you own the place. Keep a positive attitude and pretty soon you will feel the confidence you are trying to exude. Here are some more tips to help you with your confidence.
Don’t Trust Your ‘Gay’dar
You may think that you have the ability to pick the one gay man out of a crowd of thousands but not everyone shares that ability. Approaching someone when you aren’t sure if they even play on your side of the fence can be terrifying, so take small steps first. Try to meet someone who is openly gay first, that can be at a gay bar or a gay dating website or even a gay social club. You don’t always have to date everyone you meet but it is a good way to get out and make new friends in the gay community.
You Don’t Have to Live up to Stereotypes
There is a stereotype that gay men are sexually promiscuous, while that is true for some people that is also true in the straight community. Don’t feel pressured to live up to that stereotype, sex is personal and you can have as much or as little of it as you are comfortable with. You also need to be cautious, particularly if you are just coming out of the closet. Falling in love with the first person that you have sex with can end in heartbreak, guard your emotional health as much as your physical health.
Dating gets easier with practice, get out there and meet new people, you never know you could meet your Mr Right.
We have come a long way since Harvey Milk and the gay community had to march in the streets against discrimination but there are still people struggling to understand gay culture. For the sake of argument the term “gay” is meant to be inclusive of the entire LGBT community. Originally the term meant happy and carefree, yet for most of their lives the gay community has struggled to fit in.
A Different Struggle
The first thing that you have to understand is that gay people largely have the same struggles as you do. They struggle with careers, student loan debt, what to cook for supper and what to buy their mother for her birthday. They have fights with their partners and oversleep in the morning just like you do. Where the differences come into play is their personal lives and whether they will share their secret with straight people. Straight people rarely have to worry about whether their relationship will alienate their family or derail their careers.
Gay people have had to withstand rejection, hate and discrimination that straight people have never had to experience. They have had to create their own culture where they would be accepted. Rejection from family has led the gay community to create their own social circles with others who understand that same type of social isolation. This happens to members of the gay community often when they are very young and they end up searching for a place where they find acceptance.
While there is an underlying commonality that ties the community together it doesn’t mean that everyone knows or is friends with everyone else. The gay community is a large and diverse group of people coming from all walks of life. They have different faiths, socioeconomic statuses, tastes and life experiences. Not everyone in the gay community has noble intentions you will find predators here too. The worst characteristics of people can be found in the gay community, the same as any other.
While there are more gay figures in the media and on television than there ever were they still present stereotypes for the most part. Gay men are strong, white professionals who are usually promiscuous and lesbians are wealthy and successful but in reality the gay community is far more diverse than that. There are the same proportions of rich and poor, white or black and any other marginal group that you can think of.
While understanding the gay community at large has come along way and there is more acceptance today there is still a long way to go.